Last summer I finally read 50 Shades of Grey. The decision to take the plunge after resisting for so long came about as an “I will if you will” bargain with my friend. With the movie about to hit theaters this weekend, here are my thoughts.
Please note that this is based only on the first book. These are my personal opinions and I will certainly not judge you if you loved it and got off on it. Erotic romances and fantasy are wonderful things. However it didn’t work for me either personally or as a therapist with a speciality in relationships and sex.
1. Horrible writing. Repetitive and vapid. I’ve never used that word to describe something or someone, and yet here I feel it fits so perfectly. And her Inner Goddess. Really?
2. Horrible characters. The woman is boring and can’t seem to make a decision for the life of her. He needs to see a therapist and work through his baggage. I struggle with people who treat the important people in their lives so badly. I found them both annoying and had difficulty relating to either of them.
3. Horrible depiction of BDSM practices. I don’t have issue with his sexual preferences, and feel strongly that whatever turns consenting adults on is fabulous. However there is nothing safe, sane or consensual about what happens in the first book. Pressure! Lack of understanding! Lack of communication! A contract is meaningless without the previous two things. A good BDSM experience does not end with someone running to their bedroom and crying all night. No good experience in any type of relationship ends that way.
If you are interested in some great romances that are written better with hotter sex (with or without some well represented kink), I can give you some titles. If you are interested in learning about how to bring kink into your relationship in a healthy way, I can also give you some direction. But this… I’m not a fan.