One of the biggest questions in our search for understanding of our sexual selves is “Where do I go for information?” Here you will find book and website recommendations about sex, sexuality, and relationships for children, teens, and adults.
I’ve included links to jump to your topic of interest, or you can just scroll down to browse the full list. If you can’t find what you are looking for, contact me and I will try to help!
Books & Websites for Talking to Kids About Sex
Books & Websites for Adults About Sex, Sexuality, & Relationships
Polyamorous & Open Relationships
Books & Websites for Talking to Kids About Sex
If you are uncomfortable with the thought of talking to your child about puberty and sex, some of these books may help you to find the place to start and ways to answer questions intelligently as you take on your role as your child’s primary sexuality educator. Note that many of these books may only be available online.
For Parents:
- For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Walk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health by Al Vernacchio, 2014
- Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent’s Guide to Talking Sense About Sex by D.M. Roffman, 2001
- Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Turning “The Talk” Into a Conversation for Life by Laura Berman, 2009
For Children 3-8
- Amazing You! By Gail Saltz, 2005
- It’s NOT the Stork: A Book about girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends by Robie Harris, 2006
- What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg, 2012
For Children 8-12
- Boy’s/Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Teen: Getting Used to Life in Your Changing Body by American Medical Association, 2006
- It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health by Robie H. Harris & Michael Emberley, 2014 ed.
- Sex is a Funny Word: A Book About Bodies, Feelings and YOU by Cory Silverberg, 2015
- The Period Book: Everything You Don’t Want to Ask (But Need to Know) by K & J Gravelle, 2006
For Teens 12-15
- A Smart Girl’s Guide to Boys by AmericanGirl, 2013
- Asking About Sex & Growing Up: A Question-and-Answer Book for Kids by Joanna Cole, 2009
- Boys Guide to Girls by Gary J Campbell & Frank Hawkins
- Does This Happen To Everyone? A Budding Adult’s guide to Puberty by Jan Von Holleben and Antje Helms, 2014
- Help Your Kids with Adolescence: A Non-nonsense Guide to Puberty and the Teenage Years by DK, 2017
- The “What’s Happening to My Body?” Book for Girls/Boys by Lynda Madaras, 2007 ed.
- What’s Going on Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask by Karen Gravelle, 1998
For Teens 15-18
- Sex: An Uncensored Introduction by Nikol Hasler, 2015
- Sex, Puberty and All That Stuff: A Guide to Growing Up by Jacqui Bailey, 2004
- s.e.x. the all-you-need-to-know sexuality guide to get you through your teens and twenties, 2016
About/For LGBTGEQ+ Kids
- Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered or Questioning Son or Daughter by Kevin Jennings, 2003
- Queer: The Ultimate LGBT Guide for Teens by Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke, 2011
- The ABC’s of LGBT+ by Ashley Mardell, 2016
- This Book is Gay by James Dawson, 2015
- Where’s My Book? A Guide for Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming Youth, Their Parents, & Everyone Else by Linda Gromko, 2015
- Who Are You? The Kid’s Guide to Gender Identity by Brook Pessin-Whedbee, 2017
About/For Special Needs Kids
- Sexuality and Severe Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents, Caregivers and Health Educators by Kate E. Reynolds, 2013
- Things Ellie/Tom Likes: A book about sexuality and masturbation for girls/boys and young women/men with autism and related conditions by Kate E. Reynolds, 2015
- What’s Happening to Tom/Ellie: A book about puberty for boys/girls and young men/women with autism and related conditions by Kate E. Reynolds, 2015
Websites for Children and Teens
- Amaze – education on sex and relationshipsfor kids ages 10-14
- Planned Parenthood – Sexual Health Information for Teens
- Planned Parenthood – How to Talk to Kids About Sex for Parents
- Scarleteen – Education for teens and adults
- Sex Etc. – Sex education by teen, for teens
- The Porn Conversation – How to talk to kids about porn for Parents
Books & Websites for Adults About Sex, Sexuality, & Relationships
These books cover all topics, from basic education and couples skills, to how to make things better, to kink and open relationships. If you are looking for a book on a topic not included, feel free to contact me and ask for a recommendation!
Relationship Skills
- Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner by Carolyn Daitch & Lissah Lorberbaum, 2012
- How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo, 2002
- Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and Coupled Up by Harriet Lerner, 2012
- The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate by Harriet Lerner, 2001
- The Five-Minute Relationship Repair: Quickly Heal Upsets, Deepen Intimacy, and Use Differences to Strengthen Love by Susan Campbell & John Grey, 2015
- The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy & Validation by Alan Fruzzetti, 2006
- The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work by Terrence Real, 2007
- The Really Useful Grown-up’s Guide to Dating & Mating by Susan Alexander & Christina Taylor, 2015
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman & Nan Silver, 2015
After Infidelity
- After the Affair: Healing Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, by Janis Abrahms Spring, 2012
- Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On – Together or Apart by Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, & Kristina Coop Gordon, 2007
- Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass, 2003
- The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity by Tammy Nelson, 2013
- The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel, 2017
General Sex & Sexuality
- Big, Big Love: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (And Those Who Love Them) by Hanne Blank, 2011
- Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, 2015 *This book is written for women, but I think it gives the best overview of desire and arousal for all humans. Definitely one of my most recommended!
- Good Sex: Getting Off without Checking Out by Jessica Graham, 2017
- Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides, 2015
- Enduring Desire: Your Guide to Lifelong Intimacy by Michael Metz & Barry McCarthy, 2011
- Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure by David J. Ley, 2016
- His Porn, Her Pain: Confronting America’s PornPanic with Honest Talk About Sex by Marty Klein, 2016
- Let Me Count The Ways by Marty Klein & Riki Robbins, 1998
- Loving Sex: The Book of Joy and Passion by Laura Berman, 2011
- Mating In Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel, 2009
- Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-blowing Sex by Jessica Vitkus & Rachel Venning, 2010
- Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, by Joan Price, 2011
- Sex, Love, and Mental Illness: A Couple’s Guide to Staying Connected by Stephanie Buehler, 2011
- Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered by Debbie Herbenick, 2012
- Sex Positions for Every Body by Jill McDevitt, 2016
- Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex and How to Get It by Marty Klein, 2012
- The Conscious Sexual Self Workbook by Melissa Jebian Fritchle, 2014
- The Recipe for Ecstasy: The Couples’ Guide to Intimacy and Pleasure by Myrtle Means, 2014
- The Sexual Spark by Michael Krychman and Alyssa Dweck, 2017
- The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, & Fran Odette, 2007
- Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century by Barbara Carrellas, 2011
- Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage by Laurie Watson, 2012
About/For Vagina-Owners
- A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex by Laurie Mintz, 2009
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Lori Brotto, 2018
- Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, 2015
- Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon & KD Diamond, 2014
- I Love Female Orgasm by Dorian Solot & Marshall Miller, 2007
- Our Bodies, Ourselves by Judy Norsigian, 2011
- Petals: Fine Art Photography of Vulvas by Nick Karras, 2012
- Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina & Vulva by Debbie Herbenick & Vanessa Schick, 2011
- Sex After… Women Share How Intimacy Changes as Life Changes, by Iris Krasnow, 2014
- Sex Matters for Women by Sally Foley, Sally A. Kope, & Dennis Sugrue, 2011
- Sex Yourself: The Woman’s Guide to Mastering Masturbation and Achieving Powerful Orgasms by Carlyle Jansen, 2015
- Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same-Sex Couples by Glenda Corwin, 2010
- Sexy Mamas by Cathy Winks & Anne Semans, 2011
- She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner, 2009
- The Hot Guide to a Cool Sexy Menopause by Barb Dehn, 2014
- The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us by Felice Newman, 2004
- This is Who I Am by Rosanne Olson, 2008
- Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston, 2010
About/For Penis-Owners
- Coping with Premature Ejaculation by Michael Metz & Barry McCarthy, 2004
- Coping with Erectile Dysfunction by Michael Metz & Barry McCarthy, 2004
- Great Sex by Michael Castleman, 2008
- Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man by Ian Kerner, 2013
- Manhood: The Bare Reality by Laura Dodsworth, 2017
- The New Male Sexuality: The Truth About Men, Sex, and Pleasure by Bernie Zilbergeld, 2013
- The Penis Book by Aaron Spitz, 2018
- Ultimate Gay Sex by Michael Thomas Ford, 2004
Kink/BDSM
- BDSM 101 by Rev. Jen, 2013
- Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, & Jon Jacobs, 2011
- The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy, 2011
- The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy, 2011
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino, 2012
- When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt, 2013
LGBTGEQ+
- Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives by Gershen Kaufman & Lev Rafael, 1996
- Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon & KD Diamond, 2014
- It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living by Dan Savage & Terry Miller, 2012
- Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same-Sex Couples by Glenda Corwin, 2010
- The Key to Unlocking the Closet Door: A Coming-Out Guide on a Journey Toward Unconditional Self-Love by Chelsea Griffo, 2014
- The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us by Felice Newman, 2004
- Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community, by Laura Erickson-Schroth, 2014
- Transgender 101: A Simple Guide to a Complex Issue by Nicholas M. Teich, 2012
- Ultimate Gay Sex by Michael Thomas Ford, 2004
Polyamorous & Open Relationships
- Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson, 2015
- Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy, 2009
- Many Hearts, Many Loves, Many Possibilities: The Polyamory Relationship Workbook by Christina Parker, 2009
- Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino, 2008
- The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-partner Relationships and Families by Elizabeth Sheff, 2014
- When Someone You Love is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships by Elizabeth Sheff, 2016
Sex After Abuse
- Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines, 2007
- Joyous Sexuality: Healing from the Effects of Family Sexual Dysfunction by Mic Hunter, 1992
- The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz, 2012
Recommended Websites for Adults
Sex Ed for Adults
- O.school – sex ed classes live streamed every day
- OMGYes – for women and their partners to explore ways to enhance sexual pleasure
- Oh Joy Sex Toy – great education and product reviews for adults
- Planned Parenthood – get the Facts on Sexual Health
- Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center – education for adults
- Scarleteen – education for teens and adults
- SexSmart Films – “The Netflix of Sex Education”
- The Evil Monk – an informative site about BDSM
Shops and Boutiques
- Babeland – sex toys and lubes
- Good Vibrations – sex toys and lubes
- Lucky Bloke – condoms and lubes galore!
- She Bop – “Female Friendly Sex Toy Boutique”
- The Pleasure Chest – for LA locals who want to shop in person
- The Stockroom – specializing in BDSM, fetish, and kink
- Vibrant – body safe, sex-positive, and inclusive products with proceeds going to benefit Planned Parenthood!
Sexual Media/Porn
- My Body Back Project – The Clit List – a curated list of erotic media for those who have experienced sexual violence
- Sex-Positive and Feminist Friendly Porn – reviewed by The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health